I Think I've Lost Myself



As the year 2016 comes to an end, I can't help but to reflect on the life changing events that took place this year.

From getting married to having a beautiful baby girl -- my life has changed drastically.

I'm constantly telling my husband that I don't want to completely lose myself and my dreams that I wanted to accomplish before we started a family. Well I think I've lost myself.....

In the mix of taking care of my husband and my daughter I sort of feel like I don't know who I am because I've made sacrifices for breastfeeding  and also settling for career changes. I no longer look at clothes the same like I once use to *which is a surprise for me*

I can't help but to feel lost in the sauce and plan for the future because I want my baby girl to be proud and to see the legacy I've built for her.

It was so easy for me to lose myself in taking care of my family and not giving myself self care and proper maintenance. Some days I look in the mirror and wonder "Who am I?"
At times it hurts...to think that I've "let myself go". I tend to tear up about it... but this is real life as a Mommy. I love seeing the smile on my husband's and daughter's faces but I'd love it even more knowing that my face is because of not just taking care of them but in turn taking care of myself.

Motherhood is hard, emotional, stressful, tiring, joyous, but most of all it's WORTH IT
It's more than just the pictures on social media and the words on this blog. I can't put the memories we've created in a box or into a picture because the best moments aren't captured. I appreciate every single second of it and I'm grateful -- no one can take that away. 

I make excuses to not get a pedicure or get my hair done or simply to even write a blog post...
As she gets older and the days of breastfeeding are coming to an end -- I can no longer use her as an excuse. I HAVE to get back out there for my sanity and to keep my dreams alive.

I think I've lost myself in the midst of several life changes but hopefully I can find myself before the New Year.

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